In this episode I try something different. It's not quite a book review, nor is it just a summary. I share plenty of quotes and passages from the book with the intention to provoke thought and stimulate discussion.
This is one of the best books I’ve read on personal development, growth, emotional awareness and generally understanding yourself and how you relate. Reflecting on it while recording this podcast I was reminded just how important this education is right now. And how much this has positively impacted my life at a time when I really need the support and perspective such fundamental truths provide.
I read at least a book a week on these topics and have done for 20 years, and if I was to recommend one book to read, it’s this. I take notes in all books I read and for this one, every second line was highlighted, some were double underlined with brackets, an asterisk and dog eared pages.
In this podcast I work though the five sections of the book and share the passages that resonated for me and I also share why they resonated, we get personal on this one.
Below are the sections and times at which I discuss certain topics if you want to skip ahead – it's a long one but I reckon it's worth a couple of hours of your time.
Here's a link to Alain de Botton's website and a link to The School of Life.
The School of Life YouTube channel has plenty of short videos explaining many of these topics - it's brilliant, check it out. But beware, you'll easily lose a few hours in there!
Chapter Markers
0:02:00 – Intro to the book and author bio
0:08:20 – How I came to this book (a little bit of personal context setting)
0:13:30 – The introduction. Sane Insanity and In Praise of Melancholy
0:19:30 – The School of Life
0:21:10 – Self
0:29:30 – The Importance of a Breakdown
0:38:00 – Others
0:55:20 – A Case for Pessimism (from a recovering naive romantic idealist)
0:57:15 – Vulnerability
0:58:30 – Building Connection (with a hug, a cry or glass of milk), and Listening
1:01:30 – More on Pessimism and Disappointment as a Leisure Activity
1:04:45 – Anxiety
1:09:40 – On the Need to be Alone and Nature as a Teacher
1:14:20 – Relationships and the Failings of Romanticism
1:18:25 – A Post-Romantic Approach to Relationships and Finding a Partner
1:22:30 – How to Know You’re Ready for a Relationship
1:25:15 – Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles
1:33:00 – Conversation Starters to Build Connection in Relationships
1:33:45 – Why we Argue
1:36:50 – Marriage
1:40:10 – Work
1:43:00 – Culture
1:44:40 – Wisdom
Michael Bungay-Stanier – 'The Coaching Habit' and 'The Advice Trap'
Esther Perel – 'The State of Affairs'
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